


Violet Light

by bad_pheasants



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Green Lantern Corps - Freeform, Green Lantern!Alex, Memory Alteration, Possession, Red Lantern Corps - Freeform, Red Lantern!Kara, Star Sapphire Corps, The Predator Entity - Freeform, The dying isn't permanent I swear, day two: red!k kara, kalex appreciation week 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-02 08:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16301384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bad_pheasants/pseuds/bad_pheasants
Summary: Alex Danvers.The voice tones, gentle like the rumble before an avalanche.Your heart rages.So does mine.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so, this is stretching the "Red!K Kara" prompt, like, a lot. In all honesty, I put my red!k, Black Mercy, and Red Lantern!Kara (or Red Lantern!Astra) headcanons in the same bin. Red is for Rao's light. Alex is quite possibly the only human who gets that.

It’s over.

Kara’s gone quiet in her lap, the only sound now the sound of her ragged breathing. The blood on her lips, on the floor, on Alex’s hands and clothes—is just blood, now. The red ring lies inert on the floor, severed from Kara by J’onn’s surgically-precise work with Alex’s green ring, encased in purple and green crystal. There’s a thready rhythm fluttering against Alex’s fingertips in Kara’s wrist, thanks to Diana’s work with the Star Sapphire. All in a tenuous balance.

Kara’s heart shouldn’t be beating at all. But they found a loophole.

_“You’re Kara Zor-El. Alura’s daughter. Astra’s niece. They made you who you are. You’re a child of Rao, and his light is in your soul, Kara, it’s in your blood and your bones and your_ heart _, and_ no one _can take that from you.”_

Alex holds her hand for a little while longer, the other one buried in Kara’s hair, while she tries not to cry. It won’t help Kara any when she wakes up if Alex is completely distraught.

Slowly, Kara starts to stir. Alex lays Kara’s hand gently down on the ground. No telling what she’s going to try to do with it when she first wakes up.

_“You told me once that you believed everywhere you go, he goes. That every time you step out into the sun, you can feel Rao’s strength. Kara, you never left that light. Do you hear me? You_ never left _.”_

Inevitably, Kara stiffens. Then, she recoils, jerking back. Alex listens to the high, tense rhythm in Kara’s chest--carefully, carefully. But it doesn’t falter, as Kara looks around the room, horror blossoming on her face.

_“Kara—I know why you picked the red. I remember. I was there with you. You almost got your family back, and I took it away again.”_

_“You were ready to leave with them. You were ready to leave me to die. Kara, are you back there? Do you remember them?”_

<< _“Where am I?”_ >> Kara asks in Kryptonian, eyes wide. She takes in Alex’s appearance. << _“Who are you?”_ >>

_“Leave me there, Kara. Leave with them. Forget me._

_“It was all just a dream. It was just a fever-dream.”_

//

“Why does my chest hurt when I see you?” Kara asks softly from where she’s sitting on the edge of the DEO medbay bed. She sounds almost nothing like the Kara Danvers any of them know. But this isn't unfamiliar, to Alex.

Alex’s throat closes. It’s not supposed to happen this fast. They’re supposed to have _time_ , time to find a cure, a way to heal her. Time to grow a transplant using technology from the Fortress. Hell, time to drop her into the sun, if that’s what it takes. She turns back to the screen in front of her and taps through a series of diagnostics. She thumbs the green ring on her finger anxiously, nudging it with her mind. Neither seem to find anything.

“I don’t see anything that suggests your heart’s in distress.” Alex says.

“It’s not.” Kara replies. She tilts her head. “I knew you, didn’t I?”

Alex closes her eyes as something stabs in her chest. She should lie.

_No._ Lying will only make this worse. Lying will only make Kara want to figure this out on her own.

And then Alex will lose her forever.

“Yes.”

Kara is very close to her, suddenly, and fingertips turning her head surprisingly gently, tilting her head up. Those blue eyes read her face, intent, so serious, like the girl who came to live in her room all those years ago.

“Who are you to me?” She asks.

Alex has to close her eyes to avoid that stare; to be able to think at all.

“Someone who’d rather you were alive than remember me,” She says, windpipe aching, “Since I had to choose.”

Kara doesn't say anything. Alex can’t breathe.

The fingers on her jaw slide back to cup the back of her head, featherlight. There’s the soft rush of movement, air flow.

Kara’s lips press to her forehead, and Alex almost crumbles. Hot and cold races over her skin, and her stomach twists.

Grief does strange things to a person, she thinks.

“Thank you.” Kara says when she pulls back. “I can see how much it cost you.”

The girl who fell from the stars. She can still see right through Alex.

//

It takes Kara a few more days to re-learn her own strength. Once she does, though, she stops touching people entirely. Everyone is unprepared for the sudden absence of casual hugs, or high-fives, elbow nudges that seem so nonchalant but are carefully placed and thought through. Except for Alex.

Confidence in her ability to control her strength wasn’t the only thing that made Kara hesitant to accept touch.

Alex has the memories of Kara’s first arrival on Earth--what she remembers of it--playing on infinite loop in her mind, comparing them to what she sees now. She sees how Kara acts, and she remembers things anew, old details given new weight. And this time, Alex’s heart hurts for her from the beginning. She pays attention the way that only someone who’s deeply familiar with someone else’s pain can.

But hey--maybe this time, Alex will do it right.

It’s so all-consuming, that hurt, that loneliness, the intensity of it. Alex tries to give her some privacy, knowing that to Kara, Alex is just a stranger, not someone whose first instinct is to drop everything and reach out to comfort her. Knowing that that isn’t necessarily welcome, from some alien who knows things about her past that she can’t tell Kara, not yet. Knowing that this Kara doesn’t think of her as someone she trusts and relies on.

She catches herself watching this new Kara and seeing an entirely new person, too: This beautiful, composed woman who has every bit of Alura’s regal bearing, now that Alex as seen her. Who can somehow wear grief and dignity in every line of her face. Alex finds herself picking out the nuances of her thicker Kryptonian accent, finding surprises her memories hadn’t prepared her for--and sometimes, knowing when Kara is about to break, even before Kara does.

They don’t call them “sister nights” anymore. Alex is a little bit afraid to think about what to call them. Kara starts them out sitting on a completely separate chair, or curled up on the loveseat like a cat. Gradually, she ends up on the other end of the couch from Alex. From there, she inches closer.

It’s one of those nights, after Kara’s learned how to interact with the world without breaking it and then retreated from it inside herself to grieve, that Kara reaches over, tentatively. And Alex doesn’t even think about it; turns her hand and lets Kara’s fingers slide through hers. She doesn’t try to say anything.

It feels so different: Kara holding her hand like a lifeline--but now, just as a stranger to her, enduring the loss of Krypton all over again.

“I keep wanting to reach out to you,” Kara says, and part of Alex is relieved. Another part of Alex cracks in half. “I don’t know why.” Her brow furrows. “But you look so sad. And this…” She looks at their joined hands. “This heals me.” She says it like she’s having trouble figuring out the right words. That’s a thing again, too. But Alex is used to that.

“Hey.” Alex squeezes Kara’s hand, partly to distract her from this train of thought, partly to reassure her. Kara looks at her, relaxing. “You can _always_ reach out to me. I just… I don’t want to make you feel weird.”

Kara’s face softens. “You don’t. You make me feel like it doesn’t matter whether or not I ever remember. Almost. Like I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”

… And Alex is tearing up now. Yep. That’s happening.

“Hey.” Kara’s tugging Alex up onto her feet and pulling her close. Her arms feel just like her Kara’s. Alex clings fiercely, left hand pressing over Kara’s left shoulder deliberately, gently, like being mindful of the heart inside it will help keep it safe.

Kara's heart has always been the strongest part of her. Suddenly, it’s so fragile, and Alex isn’t good at fragile, or hearts.

After a moment, Kara shifts slightly, pulling Alex’s right hand out from behind her back and around and laying it gently on her chest. It’s intimate (understatement of the year), maybe borderline inappropriate (except it’s not, it feels _right_ ), the neckline of Kara’s shirt half-under Alex’s hand, soft skin and firm muscle under her thumb. That steady pulse echoing under her palm. Kara’s hand lays over hers, easy, not holding or trapping her there--but Alex feels the weight and the warmth and she couldn't move her hand even if she wanted to. Kara’s heart is beating under her hand. Her mouth goes dry.

Alex knows she’s blushing. _Pretty girl put my hand on her chest._

_Oh my god, what are you, fifteen?_

It’s like a mirror that could shatter at any moment: The girl with her arm around Alex’s waist, the girl letting Alex hold onto her and feel her heartbeat, like she knows this is Alex’s anchor.

Alex looks up from their hands. Kara’s eyes search hers. Something in them quiets.

Alex realizes she’s been made. Fuck, Kara really is too smart for her own good. And Alex might be a little too gay for her own good.

_This is different_ , she reminds herself, _It’s not what we had before._

And that’s good, right? It means Kara isn’t remembering. Which means she isn’t dying.

“I thought you might want to know.” Kara says, like she figured something out, and she’s right.

Alex nods, and leans her forehead against Kara’s shoulder, feels that protectiveness flare, a little green spark from the ring around her finger. Feels completely outmatched, still, by the girl in front of her, her generosity and her intuition. This is what she’s always been, without her foster family’s rules, without the fear Alex and Eliza drilled into her.

Alex set her free of that. She should be happy for her, probably. Happy that she gets to be something that she never could, with Alex, and their history.

Alex thought that she’d lost this part of Kara for good, since Myriad. Since their fight over Metropolis.

But for now, she can pretend this is still hers, and not just Kara, Kara who’s so full of loss and love that it overflows and it touches everything around her.

Alex closes her eyes and lets Kara hold her hand over her heart. Her mouth feels hot, lips electric with something _she’s_ learned in the time since Kara came to live with them, her breath thick.

The more things change, the more Alex realizes they didn’t, for her.

//

There are moments when Alex feels so keenly that this can’t last. And maybe, she shouldn’t touch her. Because Kara—Kara is smart. She’ll lose Kara to her own Kryptonian acuity before the transplant is ready. She’ll lose Kara to the ease of their relationship, which has been her one comfort in all of this.

Kara’s face twists in pain. “I remember—“

“ _Don’t_.” Alex says, at her side in a second. “Don’t remember. I told you, your memories, they—they’ll kill you, Kara. I can’t—”

_Lose you._

Kara looks at her, that same trust she’s shown this whole time, and Alex hates this part, hates that she has to know things that Kara doesn’t.

“I want you to live, Kara,” She says, barely louder than a whisper, “Even if that means you lose me.”

“But I haven’t,” Kara says, “I still—“ She cuts off with a gasp, hand going to her chest.

Alex doesn’t hesitate. Doesn’t think about it. God knows she’s thought about it enough since this all started. She leans in.

Kara melts into the kiss, her breathing easing.

“You won’t lose me now, either,” Alex says, lips brushing Kara’s as she speaks. “Just stay with me. Stay here.”

Kara obliges.

Alex lets her hand drift up to rest over Kara’s heart, listens to the readout from the ring on the status of Kara’s heart, the memory blocks, how she heals.

//

No one was watching the monitors, so they didn’t see Kara collapse. Alex doesn’t think she’ll ever forgive herself for that.

Not that it would’ve helped. Once Kara remembered, there was no putting that away again. Not without permanent damage. And Alex needed something to keep Kara live while she worked. It took exactly one god, one Green Martian, one Green Lantern, and someone who _was_ Kara’s sister just to pull her out alive, last time.

They were out of time.

”Danvers. Lab, now.” Lucy’s voice crackles. Alex’s own heart suddenly feels like it might stop.

Kara’s on the floor, surrounded by DEO personnel. The AED sits uselessly by. Alex knows it wouldn’t matter if she was here, but Livewire—it’s a shame she’s not here. She’d do the trick.

Or at least, she would if the issue with Kara’s heart was anything physical.

Alex isn’t sure if the medics actually make way for her or if she just doesn’t remember shoving them aside. Either way, she’s at the door, and there’s a flash of blonde hair, and then she blinks, and she’s on her knees next to Kara, pulling her into her arms, lifting her up off the floor, cradling her to her chest.

The strain is written into Kara’s face, strain, and exhaustion, and her skin is vaguely the color of ash.

This is wrong. This is all wrong. Kara’s skin isn’t supposed to look like this, her chest heaving, air moving uselessly in and out. She’s not supposed to be sweating, soaking into the collar of her shirt, into the fabric clinging to her skin under Alex’s useless hands. She’s not supposed to asphyxiate in a room full of air. She’s not supposed to be slipping out of consciousness, unable to heal.

“You weren’t supposed to remember.” Alex is saying, “You weren’t supposed to remember. I told you to trust me.”

Kara’s hand closes on her elbow weakly, and Alex knows it has nothing to do with Kara’s trust, or lack thereof.

Her grip is so careful, even now, that Alex knows, even before she looks at Kara’s face. This is the girl who spent years learning how not to hurt people, even when she was in pain. Not someone who, as far as she knew, only recently came here.

Alex gave this up. She gave this up so Kara could live. It didn’t matter if she lost her sister, it didn’t matter if the world lost Supergirl. The world never cared about _Kara_ , even while it begged her to save them.

But once upon a time,  _someone_ cared enough about Kara to send her away from them, even if it meant they never got to see her grow up. _Someone_ wanted to see Kara thrive enough to give her away. Alex has never been able to imagine what that’s like, what kind of heart it must take, knowing what beats in her chest for Kara. Knowing that what she feels has never been so generous.

But even if it feels like dying, being cut off from the other half of herself, looking them in the eye and seeing no recognition—

Alura wouldn’t have done any less. _Astra_ wouldn’t have done any less. To keep Kara breathing. To keep that light in the world.

That, Alex understands. So that's what she did. 

Alex pulls back and looks at Kara’s face. Even shuddering and unnaturally blue-tinged, even with her eyes dazed and dimming, something flickers in Kara’s face. It’s the same flicker she looked for in the red light of the Lantern ring. The same one she used to bring Kara home: From the Black Mercy, from Max’s Kryptonite, from her own obliterating rage.

Of course it would be why Alex is going to lose her, now, too.

Alex presses her forehead against Kara’s. “You weren’t supposed to be brave. You weren’t supposed to come looking for me.” She whispers. She wasn’t supposed to think about where she knew Alex from, or why Alex cared. She wasn’t supposed to wonder, or try to remember. She wasn’t supposed to love Alex as much as she does. She wasn't supposed to _know_ her, down in her bones. She was supposed to keep her heart _safe_.

She feels Kara’s mouth twitch wryly against her palm where she cradles Kara’s cheek— _As if anything could keep me from finding you_ —and she wants to scream. In an awful way, while Kara’s grip grows weaker and weaker, while her breathing grows faint and slows, something slots back into place. She has her sister back. There’s an ache in her chest that she’s desperately been pushing down, and it eases. She has her sister back.

And now she’s going to lose her. For good.

There’s nothing else to be done; this was the bargain they made. And Alex always knew, if she’s honest, they were always going to break it.

So she just holds her, and rocks her, and tells her how much she’s missed her. That it’s going to be okay.

And then it’s over.

Alex holds Kara tighter, whatever shreds of life are left in her.

_**Alexandra Danvers.** _

That voice. It makes her head feel like it’s full of stars.

_**You cannot protect Kara from her own heart. You never could.** _

That shouldn’t be possible. Should it? She wears the Green. She _chose_.

_**You cannot will someone’s heart to beat forever. Will is no emotion. Will has no** _ **heart.**

She’s met that voice before. Once. Wearing her own reflection, and a grin full of teeth.

_Predator._

**_Alex Danvers. Love knows no bounds of flesh. Let me in._ **

Before she can even think, Alex is thumbing the ring that’s kept Kara’s heart beating—it’s useless now, anyways—over her knuckles and letting it _clink_ to the floor. Surprisingly, the ring doesn’t fight it. Fickle fucking thing. The preternatural sharpness and strength of the Lantern light fades and disappears. She’s alone, and powerless, and Kara’s body is heavy, and it’s so dark.

That voice surrounds her, soothing and drowning and maddening all at once. It vibrates out of her bones, fills the space between stars and atoms.

_**Alex Danvers.** **Your heart rages.**_

Alex clutches Kara’s body closer to her chest. _Yes._

_Whatever your offer is, the answer is yes._

_“Who’s she talking to?”_  

_“Fuck, what’s that ring?”_

_“It looks like the one Supergirl was wearing.”_

_“No, look, it’s green.”_

_“The crest is different.”_

_**Your heart rages.**_ The voice tones, gentle like the rumble before an avalanche. **_So does mine._**

_Then what are you wai—_

Alex probably screams. Her throat is raw when she comes to. Alex also doesn’t particularly care, isn’t paying attention enough to, when the Predator steps into her skin.

It’s even more unpleasant than the first time, if that’s possible. Her skin is so small, and everything she feels, everything she _is_ , can’t possibly be contained by it.

It’s too much. There’s a pressure inside her head, in her chest, like maybe if she doesn’t get some of this energy out, something will explode. And then where does that leave Kara?

Alex lifts her head and cups Kara’s cheek with an unsteady hand and presses her lips to Kara’s and _breathes_. The presence inside her spools out like thread, pulling out of her lungs, out of her mouth, her eyes, her nose, low in her gut.

Alex’s hand slides from Kara’s cheek to her chest. That silent, hollow spot. The part of her that Alex was supposed to protect. The broken place, where the Night found its way in.

And even if there is—sorrow, and failure, and selfishness—in what Alex pours into Kara, everything Alex has shaped herself into, every act of will, and mastery, and _sacrifice_ —

Is love.

_Thump_.

Comes the rush under her hand. Under Kara’s ribs.

_**Yes. This is sufficient.** _

Alex burns. Her hand sits heavy on Kara’s chest like a million-ton star.

_Thump_.

It feels like a particularly bad romantic trope to rend space and time and light and the fabric of the universe to find wherever Kara’s soul has gone to and bring her back.

But Alex’s hands aren’t entirely hers anymore. And the entity cries out with her voice, with a voice that could split atoms.

_Kara._

_Kara, it’s me._

_Kara, come back._

_Kara._

_Thump._ Under her palm.

_Thump_.

_Thump_.

Kara inhales raggedly against her mouth, back bowing. She grabs at Alex’s shoulder, hard enough that Alex feels something _pop_ slightly, but it doesn’t matter right now. It heals as quickly as it happens.

When her heart’s racing under Alex’s palm, the way it should be, Alex pulls back.

Kara still looks a little grey, and her irises glow purple instead of blue, or the yellow of her heat vision. It fades, slowly.

She smiles at Alex, exhausted, and everything broken in her is fixed, just like that.

Kara pulls her back down, and Alex forgets there might be a reason why she wouldn’t normally do this, for a moment. And then she remembers.

“Kara—”

Two fingers press over her mouth.

“Talk later.” Kara says. “No thinking. Just breathe. Stay with me.”

Kara captures her lips in another kiss. Alex caves and lets her, feeling the entity flowing between them.

Alex isn’t going to argue.


	2. Commentary/Meta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I got a question about the circumstances around this ficlet, the worldbuilding, what's the fallout from this, what are the ramifications of Alex being possessed by the Predator Entity, and I wound up writing a couple thousand words in response, and then someone suggested that I turn that into a whole other _chapter_ , and... well, it's three days later, but here we are.

The key points for me while writing this were:

_“The Predator [...] is in fact the ultimate embodiment of love - love with nothing to temper it.”_ —So, the short answer to your question is that being filled up or possessed by the Predator entity is both a good and bad thing. It's good because it saves Kara's life and heals both of their hearts. But I have a feeling that the entity itself can cause as many problems as it solves.

I really like playing with dualities with the Lantern corps. I like the whole red/blue dynamic with Kara, because she embodies both. I like the blue/green dynamic with Kara and Alex, because I think it's true—without something like hope, or love (without a "heart") something like a green ring can easily become tyrannical, inhuman, and soulless—that Yellow Lantern energy, lol. Alex is perfect as a Green because she has _so much_ heart, and she gives so much of herself to what (or who) she loves. But even she will still slip into using fear to try to manage Kara's more expansive tendencies, "for her own good". 

But also, the idea of Alex as "intemperate" (not just in the "drinks a lot" sense) makes a LOT of sense as one of those foundational character flaws. And there's a consumptive, destructive side to that, so by the time we meet her in canon, she needs that discipline so that desire in her that's kind of broken and mangled after what she's been through doesn't just… swallow her whole. But then you run into the problem above with the Green/Yellow dynamic. 

The Predator Entity fits into this because, in my head, it's probably drawn to people who are _that broken_. It's not the channeled and harnessed healing force of the Star Sapphires; it's the raw energy they harness. It’s… very like Alex, lol. So Alex probably has at least one run-in with this immortal entity that is innately drawn to want to "fix" the more enticing, shiny problems of certain enticing, shiny mortals… usually causing a lot of havoc in its wake.

So, in terms of "will they be OK”—totally, eventually. But there'll be shenanigans. One of my favorite stories about the Predator Entity that I came across was the time that it "inhabited" Carol Ferris, and tried to woo and date her, as a guy, and I just... 

Poor boundaries. This emotional entity has very poor boundaries. And a _lot_ of power. :P 

**Blue Lantern**

—I read Kara's "hopefulness" not as naivete, but as that kindness that can come out of immense grief or trauma. 

And the thing is—suffering  _can_  make you kind. People like to hold up examples of that and Hallmark-ify them, and not totally without reason; if nothing else, it's a good compass for people who are going through the same thing. But Kara’s not vapid or "pure"/"innocent" or uptight or a goody-two-shoes. She has that incredible, ingrained, disciplined "turning towards the light", and while she also reflexively camouflages and downplays herself, that isn't at all the same thing as being hopeful or sunshine-y—That's being terrified and showing the world a harmless front.

So, _being Supergirl_  embodies that hope-from-sorrow and strength out of grief. She's allowed to be expansive, and take up space, and not hold everything in. And it's really true what she says in the S1 finale—by letting her be Supergirl, the people she helped and the people who looked up to her gave her back to herself. And in a way, she's giving something back to this world that gave her a refuge and saying, "You took me in; you believed in me; I'm going to believe in you". It's not some kind of passive idealism, either; it's active faith, and when it comes down to it, concrete sacrifice. It’s exactly that combination of “hope” and “will” (or action) that the Blue/Green pairing is about—empty idealism or “hope” that’s not based action or reality is powerless. 

But while the Green functions perfectly well on its own in the comics canon, I’d take that assertion one step further and say that, like above, without a heart, whether that’s the Blue, the Star Sapphire, or the Indigo, the Green _will_ lose its soul and ultimately become the Yellow—which draws its power from fear. But this is also part of why the wearer’s character is so important—they complement the ring, they don’t mirror it. 

To go back to Green Lantern!Alex vs. Predator Entity!Alex—The Entity is able to bond with Alex because they’re so similar. They’re aligned. It’s the opposite of why the Green would choose Alex, imo, or the Blue would choose Kara—Kara is willful enough to make her “hope” (or whatever you’d like to call it) a force to be reckoned with. Alex, who’s kind of all over the place, probably tends to love “outside the lines”, and gives and gives and gives even at cost to herself, is given a channel for that energy that ultimately isn’t destructive. 

Predator!Alex is a ball of id, lol. She suddenly has the power to make those things she’s desperate to do happen, whether that’s rescuing her father or literally bringing Kara back from the dead, and the source of that power is also sentient and has on some level decided that it wants to help her achieve those goals, and it’s going to do that by time-sharing her body and taking on those goals as its own. (Like I said, lol—poor boundaries.) 

(As a side note, episode 4x05 of this season of Supergirl is titled “Parallax”, or it was last I checked, which is the name of the emotional entity at the heart of the Yellow Lantern. So, that interview where Melissa says that “fear is the real villain” of this season? May not be nearly as vague as it sounds. _Especially_ because they’re calling this arc “Red Daughter”, and while “Red Son” refers to a very particular Superman series, “Red Daughter” or “Red Daughter of Krypton” is actually the name of the first New 52 Red Lantern arc. So.) 

**Red Lantern, Part I**

In my head, in the show canon (or adjacent to it), Kara becoming a Red Lantern would have to do with her disillusionment with humanity, the fact that these people will only accept her if she shows them a "human" alien. If she aligns with their ideology and fights for them and never sides with other aliens or reminds them that she is, in fact, an alien. And even her Supergirl identity, imo, is this precarious balance of performing and hanging onto her Kryptonian-ness (which is super important to her), in a way that's acceptable/comprehensible to humans.

But the irony is that most people wouldn't see that, or care. They'd just see an alien sticking up for "Truth, Justice, etc." and take it as affirmation that they're in the right. And Kara would definitely take issue with that assumption.

**Sidenote:**

This show has also made some assumptions about “humanity” that have been a little off-putting, especially because it’s either sidelined Kara’s Kryptonian-ness to play up her “humanity” (her good qualities, or at least the ones the show—and fandom—paints as desirable) or done some things that associated “humanity” with, in a word, “American-ness”—not being “other”, or wanting to be “normal” in a particular way. 

For instance, the Worldkillers—like Kara, they’re Kryptonian, but they aren’t interested in assimilating or blending in, they don’t let go of their particular “alien” morality and religion, and (this is the racist part) because they refuse to give up their alien morality and adopt human norms, they’re bound and determined to force their alien morality on “humanity” (America). Kara, who by 3x09 has already been told on at least two separate occasions that identifying with her Kryptonian-ness is either (a) an emotional crutch, or (b) straight-up evil and supremacist, stands up to defend not just the people of her adopted home, but their culture and values from an “alien invasion”. 

Yikes. 

And not only that, but if you look at Sam’s story—she’s the only Worldkiller to have survived Season 3, and also, not at all coincidentally, the only one of them who has a kid. From beginning to end, we have: Sam calling on the Worldkiller to perform a feat of incredible strength and save Ruby’s life (hello, metaphor), repeated references to the fact that Sam “is fighting for her daughter”—and the fact that literally the only thing that keeps her “human” (which she apparently isn’t, but also apparently is?) long enough to _be_ saved, unlike the other two Worldkillers, _is Ruby_. 

So, not only is being a mom the most meaningful thing a woman can do, not only does it make women into superwomen, not only is it perfectly fine to overshadow or remove a female character’s career on-screen (in STEM, essentially) to emphasize that part of her life, it is the only thing that will save a woman’s soul from the evil within. 

Which would be a gross overstatement if this wasn’t something that certain religions have pushed as literal truth for centuries, with varying degrees of widespread acceptance, and that continues into the present day in certain deeply conservative/radical movements within those religions. Which are, y’know, on the upswing, politically. 

So. Let’s get rid of this hyper-conservative understanding of “humanity” (assign it under “unintentional implications of canon—ignore these”) and get back to it. 

**Red Lantern, Cont’d.**

I think the whole idea of the Corps, especially once you get to a character like Atrocitus (leader of the Red Lanterns), is a power play. Because Atrocitus formed the Red Lantern Corps, and he uses it to serve his purposes. The Guardians of Oa have decent motives, but the same can be said of the Green Lantern Corps. You don’t just have a self-willed lantern battery; you have emotion directed towards a particular purpose, and so, in my mind, it matters very much who “holds the reins”, and what they choose to do with the battery. It also matters what the wearer associates with that color, and the nature and source of the key emotion. 

So, you have a color like red, which obviously has some specific emotional connotations. But for Kara, even when she's not "herself", red isn't just blood. Red is (pardon the flowery language, lol) a holy or sacred color for her. But that color and everything it represents to her is at the root of why she's so vulnerable to the Red Lantern ring—grief, trauma, loss, and alienation—and the rage that she feels at being the “only one” left (the Red Lantern battery also has a lot to do with genocide, so even on that level, Kara’s loss of her entire planet and almost all of her species aligns rather nicely with Atrocitus’ “imprint” on the Red Light of Rage). And then, on top of that, realizing that her adoptive planet, the people who she came to care about, who she _thought_ accepted her—only accept her insofar as they see her as “one of them”. The moment she wavers, hesitates, or even just fails to condemn another alien with as much ferocity as the humans around her do (especially if she understands why they did whatever thing that earned them the scorn of the humans around them), they’ll pounce on her, too. 

And, when it comes down to it, an organization like CADMUS is actually something that most humans would live with if they didn’t have to be all that aware of it. If it ever became a PR nightmare, they’d clamor for it to stop. But some aliens supposedly disappearing? Pff, what’s that? I have an alien friend, and they say everything’s _fine_. 

I think this would be where Kara really starts to question just how well she understands these people, how well they “see” her, and how much loyalty does she really feel towards them. It’s not a Zack Snyder- or Christopher Nolan-esqe ~do humans DESERVE to be saved by this godlike being~ grimdark question—it’s very much about _being an alien_ , being _other_ , and realizing that even “embracing her humanity” and being a well-behaved alien and loving them back is not enough. It might keep _her_ safe—at the cost of her conscience, which she already mentioned back in season one (“[You’re willing to] betray your fundamental instincts, just to fit in”). So, that cost is already something she’s aware of, that she feels. 

And even then, there’s no guarantee that it will keep her—or the people she cares for—safe. 

And that realization brings with it a landslide of grief, loss, anger, resentment—all the things she’s kept bottled up inside in the hope that it would be _worth something_ , that it would _matter_. Her isolation and her difference and her not-belonging, which she’d managed to conquer over time, are all still very much there. She’s still all alone. She’s still one of the last of her kind. And the people who supposedly love her so much are still mostly just xenophobic (racist) assholes. 

The other side of that coin is that it fits Kara’s cover persona as well. Kara _Danvers_ habitually lets other people walk all over her and ignore her boundaries. And this show, historically, has not supported her (narratively) when she’s tried to enforce those boundaries. _Especially_ when it comes to Mon-El. 

I also have a lot of feelings about the fact that the Red Lantern ring stops the wearer's heart, and then takes over things like circulating blood and keeping the host alive. “Seeing Red” touched on the subject of anger (and is still one of my favorite episodes for that), but didn’t really affirm this in as many words: Anger is a boundary emotion. Anger is a boundary emotion, and rage is drawing a line. Female anger especially: Men tend to get angry when they don’t get what they want, while women (or people socialized as women) tend to get angry when their boundaries have been violated one too many times. And that’s not a “natural” or built-in thing; that’s an outcome of living in a male-dominated society. 

But over time, anger is corrosive and will absolutely f*cking kill you, and probably destroy your heart (literally and figuratively) and your ability to connect with or sincerely care for other people in the process. 

So yeah. Grief can make you stronger, or it can kill you, and sometimes, it can do both. 

**In The Fic**

But in comics canon, the Star Sapphire, the Star Sapphire-based rings, and thus the Predator, all deal with the heart, and healing the heart, so while the damage to Kara's heart is metaphysical in nature (and so in this story, it requires a metaphysical cure), the two least-balanced and apparently opposite ends of the spectrum are actually very closely related. 

And Alex’s heart, while it often gets portrayed onscreen post-season one as sad and lonely and in need of domesticity, and in fandom as mostly pining and kind of wimpy, is this overwhelming, messy, uncontainable force, and while Alex herself is kind of a mess, there’s a couple people she can clean up her shit for and, given the right tools, literally defy the universe to bring home in one piece: Kara, Jeremiah, and J’onn. The Green ring is one of those tools. 

But it can’t do what the Predator Entity can and heal Kara’s heart. It can, however, keep it beating long enough for them to find a way to heal Kara’s heart, or replace it with a new one—provided the corrosive effects of the Red Lantern ring can be healed or “rolled back”. And since Kara’s vulnerability to the red ring is due to her grief over the loss of Krypton, her grief over “losing” Earth (even though it still exists, she loses what she thought it was) and the corruption/exploitation of her emotions by Atrocitus, Alex and J’onn “rolled back” Kara’s memories to before she left Krypton, with some exceptions. 

I wrote the story under the assumption that J’onn did something like a soft block; the memories are there, just not available at this time. At least, in her head. But memory doesn’t just live in the head, and Kara _knows_ Alex. Actually, she knows all of them, but Alex in particular is key. 

Because really, Alex is her connection to Earth. She’s the connection that makes Earth home for Kara. 

And not only did Kara reveal herself as an alien when she saved Alex on the plane, when she decides to become Supergirl, that vibe of "You took me in; you believed in me; I'm going to believe in you" is one hundred percent a reflection of her experiences with Alex. Whether you read it as platonic or not, that’s what Kara means when she says “Everything good I ever did came from you being my sister”. 

Alex took her in, Alex believed in her, Alex _protected_ her, and Alex is her reference point/entry point to this world. And they’re maybe two years apart (if that), and met as teenagers, so it’s completely reasonable in my mind that instead of ending up with a Kryptonian duckling, Alex ended up with a smitten alien, and maybe neither of them realized it. 

So, y’know, good luck repressing Kara’s memories of that relationship for very long. But it lasts long enough to play havoc with their relationship, since Kara probably sees this human being completely broken up about “losing” her even though she’s right there and goes, “Ah, this one is in love with me, maybe we were together” and really, it’s not like she’s totally _wrong_ , because Alex, I think, was actually in love with Kara at some point when they were younger, and it never really went away, it just kind of got stuffed down. And even if she wasn’t before, here’s a Kara who doesn’t know her, is just meeting her—and is reacting like someone who might be attracted to her, looking at her like _that kind of relationship_ is the one that’s between them. She makes these guesses and does things like (lol) putting Alex’s hand over her heart, partly because she thinks it actually will help calm Alex, and partly because she wants to see how Alex reacts—it’s the inverse of Kara listening for Alex’s heart, but if she didn’t want to be such a sneaky little shit about Alex’s feelings, Alex checking Kara’s pulse in her wrist would’ve done the trick just fine. 

And to Alex’s surprise, Alex reacts like Alex is in love with her. :P 

My point is—even if they were completely platonic before this happened, when you get down to it, a couple hairs to one side or the other, and you have something Very Not Platonic.

**Author's Note:**

> I have probably six different headcanons involving most if not all of the Lantern Corps, and how they might interact with these two. I was shooting for an "accidental marriage" fic with Blue Lantern!Kara and Green Lantern!Alex, but alas, you got my feels about Kara, rage, memory, and how Alex would be like catnip for the Predator Entity that embodies the emotional energy of "love without restraint"--and is the mascot for the Lantern Corps that deals with matters "of the heart" (the Star Sapphires). 
> 
> And, y'know, can resurrect people who are recently deceased.


End file.
